Trust Me, Beautiful

Trust Game #1:      

So what’s so important about trust anyway?

If you have read my first book, you will have read this next story. I am retelling it here, as it was my very first experience of what trust feels like. It was a profound experience and became one of my earliest impactful memories.

Growing up, we lived about an hour away from the town where my maternal grandparents lived and my mom would take my sister and I for weekend visits fairly regularly, when my dad was working. On one of these trips to visit my grandparents, my mom was standing on the platform waiting for the train with my sister and I. My mom was chatting to a woman standing next to us. She had a knack for befriending strangers in a matter of minutes with her warm greeting and ability to find common ground. My little sister was in a pushchair and I was standing next to her, as I was old enough not to need a pushchair any longer. The other woman had a little girl as well – also in a pushchair but that little girl was wriggling, crying, and moaning. My little sister was just staring at her and smiling every now and then. I think she thought if she smiled at the child then she might calm down but the child seemed determined in her angst and committed to her fight…apparently to escape. I was lost in my daydreams as was (and still is) the norm for me. The moms were chatting away, I heard the hooting and chugging announcing the arrival of the train and in that same moment, the other child broke free from her pushchair and started running – towards the oncoming train!

The other woman started screaming for her child to return, looking around in wild panic, screaming but not doing anything. My mom turned to me and commanded, “stay with your sister” and ran. Being a sports woman and netball coach, my mom was fit and fast – still, in that moment I was petrified that I was about to lose her. My sister started crying and calling our mom to come back. The other woman was still screaming and crying for her child but frozen to the spot. My mom was sprinting straight towards the train tracks and the fast approaching train. It was a shift moment…every fibre of my being wanted to chase my mom down, cry, collapse but my heart was beating so loudly and all I could hear was mom’s voice “stay with your sister”.

A million thoughts went through my young mind in 30 seconds and I chose. I chose to trust my mother and stay with my sister. I crouched down next to my sister and told her that everything will be okay and she didn’t need to be afraid. Somewhere inside of me, I knew that everything would be okay, even though I was filled with dread watching my mother running towards the tracks. She somehow managed to grab the small child, drop down and skid to a halt right at the edge of the platform. I thought my heart would stop from the shock of it all. My mom got up, dusted herself off and returned the child to its very shocked and emotional mother.

After checking we were okay, my mom then got us all onto the train and went to visit my grandparents. My experience was to witness the power of trust. My mom trusted herself first and this empowered her to take action as was needed to save the child from doom. She also trusted the connection that she had built between us. She knew that she could give me a clear instruction in a certain tone and I would know to trust her and carry it out. This is turn, translated into her trusting me.

In those moments that I felt her trust, I was able to trust myself. Mom trusted herself, I trusted her, she trusted me and so, I trusted me. Of course on the day, this was all happening so fast and I was so young, that I didn’t assign concepts to it as I do when telling the story. However, as I grew from that day, I had witnessed such a clear illustration of trust, that the lesson was embedded in my psyche forever:

I am trustworthy and I know what it feels like to be trusted.

Trust Game Activity #1:

First Meeting

When did you first encounter trust, or what trust feels like to you? Think back and try to pinpoint when you first had a sense of the meaning of trust. It could even be a memory of broken trust.

Write about it in the blank pages that follow and the feelings that come up for you around this.

Does your memory spark positive or negative feelings inside of you? How do you think this impacts your levels of trust in life as an adult?

At the end of this, write down your name, followed by the words ‘I trust you’. Then say it out loud to yourself – how does it feel?